a rant…

i love the way you lie.

i’m kind of a closet Eminem fan.  a lot of his stuff is def not kosher (if ya know what i mean…) but i like the rawness and seeming honesty of his portrayal of life.  BUT … (i was saving caps for that) i don’t know what to do about this song “i love the way you lie.”  at first i thought, ‘wow, ok, so maybe they are revealing the inner conflict of people caught up in different ends of the abuse cycle…’  BUT the more I listen the sicker i get – like my stomach hurts and my eyes tear up and my chest is heavy – like a rock sitting just below my sternum.  i can’t find the ‘value’ in the song. i don’t understand why the artists felt compelled to tell the story THIS way. (i mean, it’s making money and everyone just LOVES it – but it’s crap.  just sick and evil and sad.)  maybe they are hoping people caught up in this abuse cycle will ‘see the absurdity’ of it and get help – but it kinda doesn’t look like it.


what i do know is the women i know who have been caught in the abuse cycle (and we know we get caught there because – often – there is some familiarity in it, at first. we stay there out of fear usually.  controlling the known rather than waking the sleeping giant and making things worse. risking life – mine and my kids – in getting caught on the way out…) feel fear and nausea and hopelessness when they hear this.

I mean, REALLY?  you actually WANT him to tie you to the bed post and burn the house down?  really? this song paints the ‘but she likes it’ picture which makes it so destructive. my kids, my grandkids, will hear this playing innocently in the background wherever they go. words- ideas, planting themselves in their hearts and brains.

so now i realize that i’m not just sick.  i am angry. so angry that this is how our world works.  who is going to save us?


“…All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed
I’ll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire”


…and we all clap.



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