Dealing with F’ers

dealing with F'ers

I recently calculated I see roughly 170 people per week over 4 different facilities – that does not include passers-by, people simply working out  – nodding at me, greeting me while I train clients…. This isn’t about “Wow!  Look at me!” this is about the JOY and PURPOSE of my job.

We all have F’ers in our lives.  If you don’t, call me, I have questions to ask!  I feel like I am pretty nice, genuinely kind, considerate…thoughtful.  I text/message clients and class members to encourage, rather than just thinking nice thoughts.  I support the facilities I work at with a smile and hard work… but still, there are people who just get their kicks messing with other people.  Right?!  Am I alone?

Right, didn’t think so.

But this isn’t about MY issues. It’s about some of THIS week’s clients and why I love my job.

1. Personal life. We were in a small group personal training session and while talking about goals, I found that one of my clients was going through a divorce -she was going to lose that last 10lbs since the baby.  Later, I saw her wiping tears from her eyes as she worked. So, we refocussed on the work at hand.  Form, intensity…movement.  And so did she.  1 hour of emotional reprieve. 1 hour of doing something good for her during a shitty period in her life.  She thanked me as she left with a smile.  THAT’s one way to deal with F’ers.

2. Body Image. After class we were discussing body image.  That’s kind of standard.  I was asked “How do I get rid of THIS?” as she grabbed her inner thigh.  My answer, “Choose different parents?” She has spent most of her life with her mother’s (and others’) negative commentary running circles around her self image. Years of thigh-gap marketing.  Years of “this [insert body part] is not good enough” messaging.

Remedy? Get naked.  Look in the mirror.  Don’t waste time telling yourself things you don’t believe (“I am beautiful” “My thighs aren’t fat”…) Don’t tell yourself anything.  Just take inventory. THIS is your body. A combination of genetics, care and time. Next, start caring for that body.  Exercise, eat well, rest well.  As your body changes , and it will, it changes according not only to ‘care’ but also to genetics.  You are not going to suddenly become large chested or small chested (you may loose more or less than you want there).  But whatever it is, it’s YOURS. That makes it extremely important, valuable even. As you improve your good self-care, allow that to include your messaging.  LOOK, really LOOK at marketing images – do they LOOK realistic?  Look at the people around you… all flawed, all struggling.  Think about what the world we live in would be like if we stopped that judgmental sort of criticism- of self and others?  If we gauged ourselves by how well we moved, how well we felt, how well our bodies responded to healthy stimulus? Forget the F’ers who tell you you are not good enough looking like “THAT”.

3. Instigators. Even when you are doing well, or maybe especially then, people just can’t resist the temptation to try to sabotage. (Maybe you are your own “F’er”?!) Stirring up trouble, drama…. calling attention to lesser matters.  Things that don’t change the world or the lives of people we care about in positive ways.  One such person asked me casually, “How are you doing today?” My answer, “FANTASTIC.” Their response?  “Oh.  really? Fantastic, huh?”…yup.  fantastic.  Didn’t even need to think about it.  I am helping people change their lives.  Reshape not just bodies, but attitudes!  What an amazing impact a healthy mom or dad can have on their children!  What an amazing impact a healthy adult can have on society!

My friend Jim Palmer said, “Most people twist themselves into knots trying to conform to what they think they should be, rather than simply being aware of who they actually are.”

Bottom line: I decide what is and isn’t going to have power over my life.  I decide how I am going to react and what things I am going to focus on.  I decided that my favorite thing is joy.  I choose that.

However you get there, I hope you do too.

Author’s note:  Please feel free to say “Fuckers” in place of “F’ers” if you are so inclined when reading this post.  I was trying super hard not to swear too much. 😀

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