Here’s my shame….

I drove past a lighted sign last night for a church.  It was unlit.  In Spanish. But that didn’t really catch my attention… what did was my attitude.  The Reverend listed was, *gasp*, a woman. I immediately thought less of her.  of HER.  WHAT THE FUCK? I am completely ashamed.

Now you’re surprised.  Not because I swore (if you know me)…but because I thought less of this woman for being a preacher.  It had nothing to do with the denomination…their religious choice.  As I lay in bed, I couldn’t shake the unnerving feeling of disapproval – finally… it hit me.

I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 1 Timothy 2:12

Wow. Now I’m mad.  THIS verse has held me and my opinion of women in leadership back all my thinking life. It’s been like one of those worms that bores into it’s victim and eats from the inside out. (Do worms do that? or did I see that in a super gross scary movie?) And not just leadership, but our place in the world, in general. This pervasive slight on women’s value or intelligence is carried to and from church, recited by children and explained to masses of people all over the world. And I have somehow accepted this as normal and good and some how God ordained.  I am not sure how or why I let my thinking self-loving, people trusting brain buy into that but…. I now say, “No.”  I will not believe this anymore.

And so, I wonder about EVERYTHING.  Here’s the thing about data (information)…. if one byte of data is wrong, you have to doubt ALL the data.  It’s like that.

For today, however, I reject this bit of data and begin reframing my mind and heart around a new, better reality.


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